A Childhood Revisited

   
     I was reminded of a childhood dream today.  It must have started with seeing a movie where this idea first took place in my mind.  When I was about six or seven I wanted to join the circus or carnival.  I wanted to be a clown, juggle bowling pins and flaming sticks, tame lions, and perform as flying trapeze artist...

     It all sounded wonderful to my young mind.  In many ways it still does.  Seeing the country/world, constantly traveling, my home being a canvas pitched tent, or perhaps next to a bangle tiger in his cage.  I went to the county fair today.  I met some family members there, including two of my nieces.  I didn't have many expectations for the fair, being as it hasn't changed since I was about eight years old.  I merely went to meet up with the family and enjoy spending time with them.

     We looked at the horses, cows, chickens, goat, pigs, among the other typical fair animals.  I bought a maple-nut ice cream cone with my last dollar then continued to brows the fair.  My nieces kept telling my sister that they were ready for the rides now.  We waited in live to get tickets and my sister asked me if I wanted to go on the "Tilt-a-Whirl."  I said that I was fine.  But as they got in line one of my nieces realized she really didn't want to go on rides...  So I was asked to take her place.  She gave me the tickets as we waited in line.  Right before it was our turn some friends of mine's little boy called my name.  He asked if I would go on the Tilt-a-whirl with him because he didn't have anyone to go with.  So we got into the cart and waited for our ride to begin.
 
     At first the cart was only spinning a little bit, but as we got our momentum started pushing us we realized we had picked a good cart and were starting to spin faster and faster.  A smile split my face.  I haven't felt joy like that in a long time.  I heard the laughter of my little passenger next to me, and I started to laugh myself.  How is it that something so "little and insignificant" as the Tilt-a-Whirl can give you such freedom?  You're trapped inside this spinning cart on a floor that is also spinning in a wave like formation...  I wouldn't typically define that as freedom.  But it was freedom.

     We walked off the ride platform with big smiles on our faces.  That was the point wasn't it?  A few minutes after that I caught up with my family again.  They were in line for the, "Scrambler."  This also was one of my favorite rides as a kid.  My sister said she had, had enough of the rides but my niece wanted to check this one out because she had never been on it before.  After the experience just had, I jumped at the offer to take her.

     As we waited in line the childhood memories of the carnival and circus started to bloom in my mind again.  I watched the carni as he check the safety features of the riders ahead of us.  I imagined myself in his position.  I still am wondering what it could have been like...

     Soon enough, it was our turn to hop into one of the pods.  My niece hopped in right before I did and we sat there waiting with anticipation.  The ride started off slow, then quickly picked up speed.  We were continually flung back and forth from side to side.  It was as if we were going to slam into all the people standing around the cage.  We could have reach our hands out and touched them if we wanted to.  I was burning with inspiration.  Film angles were rushing through my head.  I thought about one of my favorite film scenes.  It's from the beginning of the movie, "Candy."  (which I don't necessarily recommend, it is a racy flick.)  Where the two main characters are in one of those carnival rides where you spin around and the gravity pins you to the wall, but in this one there are no cages and you can move around.  As the credits roll onto the screen you see these two, presumably love birds, reaching out and trying to walk towards each other.  The color and light in this clip is breath taking.  It matched the feeling I had tonight at the local fair.

    I guess what I'm getting at is to not let your dreams die.  I don't mean that in some yuppie way either.  I just mean that our dreams are a sort of fuel.  They are what breaks our seasons of being uninspired.  I had an expectancy of tonight being just like any other night, but it turned out breaking through the thoughts of having a mundane Wednesday night.  It inspired me and turned my thoughts upside down.  Life is good, it's short, and we must live it to the fullest.  Isn't that how God created us to live?  I am ready for the journey.  Lets go!

                                      Thanks for reading, Nate